Friday, May 18, 2012
Nasty witches of Zenith Bank
....The day was like every other day, I was sporting a bright smile that competed heavily with the harsh afternoon sun. The reason for this was the small slip of paper nestled between the pages of the novel in my bank. If you think I am talking about a check, then you are right. I had gotten somehow lucky the night before. A favourite customer had called me to meet him at Eko hotel. The next morning, he had handed me a Zenith bank crossed check.
At first, I didn't want to collect it. I thought it was a risky thing to do but this man, he is the best of them all. Very generous, I never leave him with anything less than twenty thousand Naira. That morning he gave me Fifty thousand Naira check because I told him about needing books in school. So I take a taxi to their branch at Muri Okunola, Victoria Island. Yours truly had taken care to look good. The good thing is I never dress in a way that makes me stand out for all the wrong reasons you know. So, after having a stern looking security man poke into my handbag with his hand held metal detector, I walk into the air conditioned foyer of the bank and approach a woman whose desk was just beside the door.
She is talking to a colleague. They both ignore me. Now I can't fault their looks. For some reason, I think these women were picked on account of their looks. It is as if I just walked into a room full of beauty contestants. Even the men look like fashion models. I thank my stars I am looking good enough to blend into the setting but I been standing there for a stretch of two minutes while these women carry on with their conversation as if I am invisible.I am beginning to feel like an idiot, so I try again.
"Hello." I wriggle my fingers at them. One stops to give me a sweeping look from the top of my head to my feet. I think this is rude, so I stop smiling.
"Yes?" She asks with a frown on her face. She is actually very pretty and her make up is flawless. It is just that she is giving me this unfriendly look that I find unnerving. I reach for the check in my bag.
"I came to cash this check." I tell her, holding the check in front of me. She looks at my hand as if I am holding a dirty handkerchief. Her colleague looks at my hand too. The two of them exchange a smile and the colleague walks away with her tight skirt suit and very high heels. I am frowning now.
"Do you have a current account in this bank?"
"Then you can't cash the check."
She goes back to reading the papers on her table. My heart dropped to the ground. Okay, of course you know that is a figure of speech right. On a serious note, I had dreamt of all the ways I was going to spend that money, besides, I really had handouts to print.
"What do you mean I can't cash the check?"
I am a little desperate now. She has a very evil looking scowl on her face as I ask the question.
"I already told you that you can't cash the check if you don't have a current account." She ends the statement with some artful eye rolling before going back to the papers on her desk again. I can tell I have been dismissed. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I walked out of that bank, swearing never to have anything to do with them. No matter how rich the bank is, I think the customer service sucks big time.
Guess who came to the rescue at the end of the day? GT bank!!! Yes! I love that bank. The moment you walk into the bank, the welcome you get makes you want to just find a seat somewhere and never leave. Okay that is a joke too.
So, I open this student account called GTcreate and deposit the check into it. All I needed was my student I.D, a PHCN bill which my friend living in Akoka was happy to give me and some passports. The smiling and very courteous woman at the customer service desk tells me to come back in about two weeks. Easy and pain free. Even though, I am not getting the money immediately, I am happy all the same. No snobbish customer care officers to look you up and down. Plus they have good looking men there too. *Wink*
In spite of all its impressive buildings and models parading as bank officers, I think Zenith bank has a long way to go. The management needs to do something about this problem. I shared my experience with some students, and they complained of facing the same problem at Zenith bank customer desk. GT bank is way ahead of them in this respect. Okay, I must leave now. I will be here tomorrow. See you!